SCOUTS GUIDE TO THE ZOMBIE
APOCALYPSE Director: Christopher Landon
Writers: Carrie Lee Wilson, Emi Mochizuki, Christopher Landon
Stars: Tye Sheridan, Logan Miller, Joey Morgan
I
love zombie films. The George A Romero zombie films are the best of zombie
cinema, especially his original three. Edgar Wrights Shaun of the Dead is the greatest zom-com ever, and Italian gore
master Lucio Fulci’s Zombie Flesh Eaters
contains some of the most iconic zombie scenes ever, providing scenes that no
other film would think of: zombies fighting sharks. Zombie’s are everywhere in
pop culture nowadays, with The Walking
Dead TV show and comic book series remaining very popular, plus it seems we
cannot go a year without at least one new film coming out (Pride & Prejudice & Zombies is the next upcoming flesh
eating romp). The director of Paranormal
Activity: The Marked Ones takes a stab at the zombie genre with Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse, which
follows three scouts who end up being the ones to save the day when a zombie
outbreak occurs in their small town.
The film definitely does not live up to the standards of Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland, but it really does not deserve the wave of extreme negativity either. It has to be said that Scouts Guide is a guilty pleasure film, that will most likely work best when all you want to see is gore and crude jokes when drinking a few beers with friends. The film feels like Superbad with zombies, and there are plenty of crude sex jokes throughout that match that films tone. There are plenty of riffs from other films that are mimicked throughout, and those who are familiar with films like Braindead, John Carpenters The Thing, Re-Animator and even so-so comedy 21 & Over, you will spot the riffs and then start to think that the film is a pretty empty one with very little ideas in its head. The zombies are the most confusing zombies I’ve ever seen in a zombie flick before, as one minute they are slow and staggering about like those from Dawn of the Dead, and the next minute they are running, jumping through windows and acting like the zombies from Zombieland, but on acid. It’s almost like the director couldn’t quite decide what kind of zombie films he was taking influence from, so decided to take several elements and throw them all together at once, which, in the end, doesn’t work as well as he probably thought it would.
The jokes in the film don’t always work, and some fall flat and are unoriginal, but in saying this, there are moments of genuine hilarity, and I had fun with the film in a guilty pleasure kind of way, similar to how I can enjoy those so-bad-they’re-good Sharknado films. It won’t be remembered as one of the best zombie films ever, but there is plenty of gore and fun to be had if you don’t take it too seriously. Don’t put a bullet in its head just yet…
The film definitely does not live up to the standards of Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland, but it really does not deserve the wave of extreme negativity either. It has to be said that Scouts Guide is a guilty pleasure film, that will most likely work best when all you want to see is gore and crude jokes when drinking a few beers with friends. The film feels like Superbad with zombies, and there are plenty of crude sex jokes throughout that match that films tone. There are plenty of riffs from other films that are mimicked throughout, and those who are familiar with films like Braindead, John Carpenters The Thing, Re-Animator and even so-so comedy 21 & Over, you will spot the riffs and then start to think that the film is a pretty empty one with very little ideas in its head. The zombies are the most confusing zombies I’ve ever seen in a zombie flick before, as one minute they are slow and staggering about like those from Dawn of the Dead, and the next minute they are running, jumping through windows and acting like the zombies from Zombieland, but on acid. It’s almost like the director couldn’t quite decide what kind of zombie films he was taking influence from, so decided to take several elements and throw them all together at once, which, in the end, doesn’t work as well as he probably thought it would.
The jokes in the film don’t always work, and some fall flat and are unoriginal, but in saying this, there are moments of genuine hilarity, and I had fun with the film in a guilty pleasure kind of way, similar to how I can enjoy those so-bad-they’re-good Sharknado films. It won’t be remembered as one of the best zombie films ever, but there is plenty of gore and fun to be had if you don’t take it too seriously. Don’t put a bullet in its head just yet…
3/5
By Dan
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE
GHOST DIMENSION Director: Gregory Plotkin
Writers: Jason Pagan, Andrew Deutschman, Adam Robitel, Gavin Heffernan
Stars: Chris J. Murray, Brit Shaw, Dan Gill
I'm just going to get this out of the way now. The supposed final
chapter in this worn out franchise is rubbish. And I mean really rubbish. What started off as an interesting idea for a low
budget found footage film has now become another cash grabbing franchise for
studio's to exploit to audiences who don't usually watch horror cinema, in
order to pull in ridiculous amounts of money. The 3D gimmick that has been
saved for the very worst entry just proves that the film makers are all out of
ideas. Paranormal Activity: The Ghost
Dimension (or as I like to call it, The Demonic Eyestrain) follows another
family who happen to enjoy filming everything. When they move into a new house
they discover an old camera and a stash of old videotapes in the garage. This
old camera provides an inside look into a whole other dimension, where ghosts
can be seen and portals into other timelines can be revealed.
Considering how this film had four screenwriters working on it, it's surprising just how little creativity the film has. Almost every riff the film plays has been done before, and better, in other films, and the set up is just basic Paranormal Activity. Throw in a new house, a boring family, a child who isn't scared by the ghost/demon, and someone who films everything all the time, and you have a PA film. The formula for these films has become so worn out that it's predictable. The family are completely uninteresting and devoid of any personality, and ten minutes in I looked at my watch and realised there was still a good 80 minutes I had to spend with these people. The jump scares are all over the place, and when all sounds die down you know they are about to happen. The 3D was annoying and I saw no purpose for the film to be converted into 3D because in the end it just began to strain my eyes and made the viewing even more unpleasant. Demonic faces popping out at you and cameras falling over very loudly occurred at least every five to ten minutes.
Everything that has been said about these films has already been said over and over again. You know what to expect, and I wasn't at all surprised when the film failed to wrap up the franchise in a satisfying way. All it does it leave you with more questions that you won't even be bothered to find out when the film finally ends. Don't be surprised when the seventh film comes out, with a tagline promising that everything will be explained. Don't give in to this, don't feed the machine.
1/5
Considering how this film had four screenwriters working on it, it's surprising just how little creativity the film has. Almost every riff the film plays has been done before, and better, in other films, and the set up is just basic Paranormal Activity. Throw in a new house, a boring family, a child who isn't scared by the ghost/demon, and someone who films everything all the time, and you have a PA film. The formula for these films has become so worn out that it's predictable. The family are completely uninteresting and devoid of any personality, and ten minutes in I looked at my watch and realised there was still a good 80 minutes I had to spend with these people. The jump scares are all over the place, and when all sounds die down you know they are about to happen. The 3D was annoying and I saw no purpose for the film to be converted into 3D because in the end it just began to strain my eyes and made the viewing even more unpleasant. Demonic faces popping out at you and cameras falling over very loudly occurred at least every five to ten minutes.
Everything that has been said about these films has already been said over and over again. You know what to expect, and I wasn't at all surprised when the film failed to wrap up the franchise in a satisfying way. All it does it leave you with more questions that you won't even be bothered to find out when the film finally ends. Don't be surprised when the seventh film comes out, with a tagline promising that everything will be explained. Don't give in to this, don't feed the machine.
1/5
By Dan
Writers: Guillermo del Toro, Matthew Robbins
Stars: Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston
Guillermo del Toro is a director who always manages to capture the essence of beauty and darkness in his films. A meticulous director with an eye for the gothic, del Toro’s 9th feature returns to the gothic horror/fantasy roots of The Devils Backbone and Pans Labyrinth. Crimson Peak follows aspiring writer Edith Cushing (Wasikowska) who falls for the slick and mysterious Thomas Sharpe (Hiddleston) who takes a liking to her writing. They soon get married, and he takes her to live with him in England with his sister Lucille (Chastain) in the creaky old Allerdale Hall. However, the house is riddled with ghosts of the past, the house itself is a living entity that bleeds, and Edith soon discovers that the mysterious Sharpe twins are hiding a sinister secret.
First of all, I’m a huge del Toro fan. His Hellboy films are some of my favourite comic book films ever, Pacific Rim was a monstrous film with giant robots fighting it out with giant monsters, and Pans Labyrinth I hold to be the greatest film ever made. The visual aesthetic of Crimson Peak is stunning. Allerdale Hall itself is a real set, the costume design is wonderful and the ghosts are a fantastic blend of CGI and practical effects, and despite not being the main focus of the film, they work wonders whenever they are present. Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain’s performances are another highlight, and their mysteriously dark, incestuous relationship adds real depth to the damaged psychology of their characters. Wasikowska’s Edith is a perfectly fine central character, but unfortunately does not get a whole lot to do other than wonder about the house at night and be taunted by the ghosts. The final act of the film is probably the strongest, as del Toro fills the first two acts with clever development and ghost sequences before letting all the violence, gore and revelations loose for the fantastic finale.
Crimson Peak is another great film from del Toro. For those expecting a full on horror film with ghosts and violence filling up the 2 hour run time, you will be disappointed. This clever gothic romance looks beautiful and haunting at the same time, and is probably his best since Pans Labyrinth.
First of all, I’m a huge del Toro fan. His Hellboy films are some of my favourite comic book films ever, Pacific Rim was a monstrous film with giant robots fighting it out with giant monsters, and Pans Labyrinth I hold to be the greatest film ever made. The visual aesthetic of Crimson Peak is stunning. Allerdale Hall itself is a real set, the costume design is wonderful and the ghosts are a fantastic blend of CGI and practical effects, and despite not being the main focus of the film, they work wonders whenever they are present. Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain’s performances are another highlight, and their mysteriously dark, incestuous relationship adds real depth to the damaged psychology of their characters. Wasikowska’s Edith is a perfectly fine central character, but unfortunately does not get a whole lot to do other than wonder about the house at night and be taunted by the ghosts. The final act of the film is probably the strongest, as del Toro fills the first two acts with clever development and ghost sequences before letting all the violence, gore and revelations loose for the fantastic finale.
Crimson Peak is another great film from del Toro. For those expecting a full on horror film with ghosts and violence filling up the 2 hour run time, you will be disappointed. This clever gothic romance looks beautiful and haunting at the same time, and is probably his best since Pans Labyrinth.
4/5
By Dan
Harri's Creature Comforts
It’s that time of the year again. Costumes are on sale at Tesco, families are getting ready for their trick-or-treat rounds and your mates are more than likely planning a beastly night on the town.
Yes, ladies and lads - it’s Hallowe’en!
But wait, you can’t afford to dress up? Scared your wallet will buckle at another round? Fear not, because there are ways to have a hellishly good night without breaking the bank. Gathering the faithful for a film night’s one of them. Today our creature film fanatic Harri offers his selection of beasts to curl up with this Hallowe’en.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Directed by John Landis, this wee beastie’s more comedy than horror - yet packs more bite than many werewolf films today. Scares are few, but when David Naughton does “sprout hair and fangs and eat people” (as he puts it in the film), the results are messy. Throw in Oscar-winning effects by Rick Baker and a comically upbeat soundtrack and what do you get? A cult classic guaranteed to leave you howling.
Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
Try as you might, you can’t have Hallowe’en without Dracula. The trouble is Bram Stoker’s vampire noble has been seen so many times it’s hard to find a version that’s both different and scary. Enter Francis Ford Coppola. With exquisite costumes and a stellar cast (incl. Gary Oldman as the Count himself), this film offers a unique take on Dracula that’s dark, erotic and - surprisingly - sympathetic. And unlike last year’s Dracula Untold, it works. Just beware Keanu Reeves’ awful British accent.
Alien (1979)
If sci-fi’s more your cup of tea, it doesn’t come much scarier than this. Ridley Scott’s classic may be thirty-six now, but it remains unbeaten to this day (except by Cameron's action sequel Aliens). An eerie atmosphere, organic creature design and Sigourney Weaver are just three of many reasons to watch Alien - whether the original version or the 2003 director’s cut. Forget about the later sequels and god-awful Predator crossovers and enjoy.
Rogue (2007)
Directed by Greg McLean (Wolf Creek), this underrated gem was critically acclaimed in its native Australia, but only saw release direct-to-video in the UK… how and why, I’ll never know. A killer croc may seem the stuff of B-movies, but Rogue is anything but. It stars Sam Worthington (before Avatar), boasts Spielbergian production values and roams its territory in a way that’s both realistic and incredibly tense. And it’s based on true events.
Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)
The darkest fairy tale you’ll ever know. Guillermo del Toro’s masterpiece isn’t a horror per se, but it is home to monsters both imaginary and human. It doesn’t help that even the good creatures - the Faun and his fairies - look creepy. Special mention goes to the Pale Man; a blind, emaciated horror with a taste for children. Its perpetually dark atmosphere, unsettling imagery and gritty post-war drama make the film as shocking as any you’d expect to see on Hallowe’en. Don’t be put off just because it’s Spanish.
By Harrison
By Harrison
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